When I Get Home My Wife Always Pretends To Be Malfunctioned (B)

每天當我回家時,老婆總是會故障 (B)

機械娘 メカ少女 アンドロイド
メカバレ 機能停止 バラバラ 解体 修理 改造 メンテナンス 組み立て
4.

    Another malfunction occurred in episode 4. The husband saw a separated round hip drifting over his eyesight with some circuits stretched out from it--- his wife's body parts were floating around in the living room. She said since she's also a robot, she wanted to try the "body combination" act as those giant fighting robots usually do it...
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    有時候老婆也會故障的...該怎麼說呢?令人很難想像,很有創意吧!
    想想當你一回到家,就看到老婆的翹屁屁從你前面漂過---但翹屁屁上面下面都沒東西...
    對,你想的沒錯,就是一顆獨立的翹屁屁,和老婆其它肢體及體內的零件,緩緩地在空中飄蕩.

    "老公!回家了?快把人家組好啦!一直盯著人家身體零件看幹嘛?"
    "...又故障了啊.妳這次故障得還真神奇.妳幹嘛把自己拆散?"
    "唉喲!不快修人家還問.你不知道在空中合體,是女機器人的浪漫嗎?"
    "...那是超機人的浪漫吧!哪時候變女機器人了?"我徹底地被她打敗,"好吧,那妳怎不趕快合體?"
    "失敗了啊!能合體還要你修嗎?"老婆說著,"我零件從軀體拆出後,手腳都不能動了,現在裝一個回去都很困難."
    天才!真的是天才啊!!!
    ................................................

    "摘下"老婆的身體部位和零件後,發現下面有個土製的電磁漂浮裝置,看來是她自己打造的.真佩服她,為了做傻事,敢拿這玩意用在自己身上.

    邊想著邊修她的身體,突然她到她"嗯~啊啊"地叫著."妳是又怎樣啦?"
    "沒怎樣,只是看到你在幫我骨盆的連軸器擦拭,感覺很...嗯~"
    "妳有個鬼感覺!"我手一揮.
    "啊嗯~!你碰到我的ㄋㄟㄋㄟ了啦!啊~"

    我回頭看,她拆下來的胸部,在我的右手邊,剛好被我抓到.
    "親愛的~輕輕抓~對人家的ㄋㄟㄋㄟ溫柔點~"
    吼!!!真有妳的,我快瘋了!!!!!哇哈哈哈哈!!!!!!!!

5.

    The husband was most scared in episode 5. The wife got a violin and wanted to play it well. As a robot, she didn't try to learn it hard and used the cheat codes. She installed a famous violinist's personality simulation program into her system. However, she messed the violinist up with another shy politician (their names are similar)...
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*注意:本話只是因諧音,拿名人開玩笑*

    老婆故障的最驚悚的一次,回憶起來還覺得胃在翻攪...

    每次回家,當門一開,我的眼光總是從老婆的腳順移而上-說真的,我老婆全身上下,沒有一個地方不好看,真不是蓋的!

    纖細的腳踝,修長的美腿,扭動的小蠻腰,不大但漂亮的胸部...嘩,我真的好幸福啊~
    看到白皙的脖子,接著就是蘋果般的美麗臉蛋...咦?咦!!!那啥鬼啊!!
    為什麼會看到會在我老婆美好的身體上,接上了大統領羞澀的臉龐!!!歐買尬!!!
    "碰!"我用力地關上門,氣喘呼呼地蹲在外面...
    ................................................

    後來聽...嗯...呃,好吧,<老婆>(這稱呼讓我有點心理負擔)解釋,原來她想學拉小提琴,於是稍微改造自己,把以前她寫的某著名提琴家人格模擬灌入她的系統,讓電子腦演算人格模擬並和她頭部其它部位off-line,再把演算藉由輔助迴路,輸出到接到她脖子的顯示器上---我搞不懂為何得這樣做,但老婆說光灌軟體不夠,要學成就得讓自己變成馬X友本人,方能學到精髓---總之她的電子腦會認為自己就是被模擬的對象,但又同時知道自己是在模擬中.

    但是,白痴老婆把大統領的人格模擬誤認成馬X友了...

    "不好意思,理智上我還是得稱呼你老公,"<老婆>一臉正經地說著,"老公,我不認為我的人格軟體能做為我對你感情變化的任何藉口,這樣不對,這身體,這電腦應該一直是你老婆的組成.老公,在你修好我以前,我也會努力保持自己愛你,不讓你我的愛情間有任何空隙."

    <老婆>拉起我的手,看著<老婆>胸部一漲一縮,一臉堅毅卻又難為情地說著,我---
    媽啦!!我不要!!!(奔逃)

6.

    Episode 6 is a summary. The husband thinks that's so strange: his wife's body is such advanced and delicate, every component of his wife has it's unique complicated structure and function. However, his wife doesn't seem to treat her body very carefully. She usually takes normal electric spare parts bought from the shop to replace similar counter parts of her body. The inner structure of the wife often changed or modified. He doesn't know that his wife is a "fine machine" or a "tough machine"...
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    諸如此類,老婆還有其他屬不清的故障情況,修到我都快瘋了.我對電子機械方面的天份,並不怎麼高超;老婆的身體又是超乎想像的先進.要了解她的構造,簡直是逼我超頻我可憐的腦袋瓜啊.此外她的身體構造有些地方非常精細,修起來戰戰兢兢,怕一個不小心,會損壞老婆到不能復原的程度.

    奇怪的是,她對她自己的身體倒很大落落,維護起來隨隨便便,還時常拿些一般的電機零件接到身體上,或改造出奇怪的功能.妙的是竟然還都能用,到底該說老婆這怪機器人是精密還粗糙?有時候老婆的零件還會散落各處.修都還沒修,光找她的零件,找得快急死了.何況老是看到自己心愛的女人,變成一塊塊的,或身體的內部線路都被翻出來,雖然是修的好啦,總也會...嗯,該怎麼講呢...

    唉,不說啦.反正修到後來,也會想趁把她修到一半時,捉弄她報復一下.不過似乎都不太成功,越捉弄她越開心,真是個了不起的老婆呀!

    對了,了不起的老婆大人,脖子上還插著螺絲起子時就去應門這一點,拜託能不能改一下?已經有兩位郵差和三個推銷員被妳嚇昏啦!